Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
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I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
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She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize