Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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