Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i believe in u and ur pee
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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