I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
