i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
