I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
