it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
