we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
