its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
