So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
