Porn is love you can see.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
