the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
