Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
