My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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