just come out here and I will go home with you...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
