Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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