evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
handjob tips. give me some.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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