i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
