He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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