there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
