Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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