I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
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Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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