oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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