Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
