just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
