I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
