it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
