I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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