yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
