yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
