Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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