last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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