Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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