What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
