How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
