You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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