Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
