Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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