i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
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HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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