yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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