If i come over, it means nothing
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
