this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
