OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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