but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
