their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
