i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize