Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I hate all girls vehemently.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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