Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
