Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
