go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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