we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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