You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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