Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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