just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Im part way to drunk.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
