wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
