We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
