I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
