I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
