I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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