pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
