I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
