I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
someone threw a dead crab at me
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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